


Olly Olly Oxen Free

by remi_wolf



Series: A Disappointing Hunt [2]
Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: (teddy gets a computer virus), Abuse, Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Alternate Universe - Dark Seattle, Bad End Parallel World (Dark Seattle | Corporation/Cyberpunk hellhole), Brainwashing, Car Chases, Chases, Colored Text, Computer Viruses, Computer Viruses Infecting People, Cyberpunk, Dark Seattle Corporates (Blaseball Team), Disappointment, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Evil Bureaucracy, Fear of Disappointing Your Abusers, Hunting, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Mirror Universe, Performance evaluation, Physical Abuse, Threats of Violence, Trauma, Unhealthy workplace dynamics, ehhhhhhh i think that's it?, job evaluation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29374596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remi_wolf/pseuds/remi_wolf
Summary: Theodore Duende's performance in the previous hunt was abysmal. Honestly, he's lucky that he still has a job. However, his superiors at Jamazon Corporate are understanding that sometimes, a day or two of Professional Development and Team Building is all that's needed to ensure that their excellent managers are better able to serve the needs of the corporation as a whole. As such, they've been kind enough to usher Theo directly into Professional Development after he's roused from his regrettable unconscious state after the Lars Taylor Explosion.
Series: A Disappointing Hunt [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157744
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: Beguilements and Distractions





	1. Professional Development

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Performance Evaluation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29229396) by [DericBindel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DericBindel/pseuds/DericBindel). 



> Please be mindful of the tags. This is a Dark/Bad Ending version of the Seattle Garages, wherein they're just brainwashed corporate drones for Jamazon. Professional Development is basically brushing up on their brainwashing. Teddy's shoved into this, despite very clearly not being entirely recovered from the damage done to him after the previous fic(s), and with a virus infecting both his cybernetics as well as his actual physical body, or at least that's how his body's interpreting it. First chapter's brainwashing, second chapter is Teddy being hunted down by the Corps, and then the last chapter is the final performance review.
> 
> Oh, also, this is part of a series, so feel free to read the first one, but also, DericBindel's "Performance Evaluation" takes place between, and Teddy references it at points as well.

Theo opened his eyes, already feeling the overload pressing against his mind and the fullness in the ports along his spine. Already settled into his chair and prepared for whatever tasks faced him, Theo pulled up the proper software to prepare for the day of Professional Development ahead of him. Mike had already called him a disappointment, and if he didn’t excel during the day ahead of him, he knew that he’d face repercussions. With the lights drowning the room in a red glow, and the knowledge of just how badly the last Hunt went, he knew the day would be difficult, especially as he hadn’t been taken in for repairs yet. Likely, their supervisors wanted to wait, in case he needed further repairs after this job review.

Trying to worry too much over the specifics of the review felt too taxing, though. Theo’s head ached, though he wasn’t sure if that was from the red of the lights or something else. He closed his eyes tight, hoping that would help as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Maybe he hadn’t gotten enough sleep since the Hunt. He knew that he had been out of it, and had sustained some damage, but he shouldn’t feel this fuzzy, as though his processors were overloaded for some reason.

_Professionals are expected to comport themselves in manners befitting the Jamazon corporation._

The sudden sound of the synthesized voice startled Theo, leaving him scrambling as he opened his eyes and tracked down Jamazon Word, needing to copy the words before the timer ran out. He had to type the corporate platitudes almost in unison with the voice, he knew that. He knew how to do this, how to do his job. 

The difficulty came in the second aspect of his work. While his hands tapped away at the Professional Development Mantras, he needed to track down...something on the cameras. There was always something he needed to find on the cameras somewhere in the city, and he couldn’t help the vague concern bubbling up in the pit of his stomach as he realized that he didn’t know what he needed to find this time. _Usually,_ there was a popup notification for what he needed to find, like some sort of scavenger hunt. However, _usually_ , he wasn’t fending off a headache rattling through his bones and settling in deep. Even flipping between the cameras, moving his eyes from screen to screen, exacerbated the headache further. Why couldn’t he think past the pain frazzling the edges of his attention? 

_Personnel are reminded that they must engage with the educational development.  
Personnel will be written up if they decline to participate in professional development_

Theo frowned, hands faltering and pausing as he turned his attention back to the words he thought he had been typing for the past few minutes. His attention focused after a moment, looking at the screen. He frowned as he realized the cursor had frozen, preventing any sort of words from continuing to be written out some time ago. The frustration welled up in his chest, threatening to constrict his breathing as he resumed typing. Even as he tried to tamp it down in favor of excitement for a new challenge, he hated that he didn’t know why this happened. He liked new challenges. Challenges pushed him, and propelled him to being better and more effective at his work, especially when they tested the limits of his abilities, but he didn’t know why he had been given this challenge. 

_Good managers know their team. Good managers know when to assist and support their team._

Theo continued tapping out the lines. His eyes continued tracking through the city, combing through cameras to find what he needed to find. 

_Proper professionals—_

_Hot Singles In—_

The sudden pop-up startled Theo, turning the clean line of words into an unintelligible line of gibberish. Where did that come from? Why... _why_ did this image of a blonde woman without clothes appear on his screen?

_All personnel are reminded that they must participate in professional development.  
We cannot be responsible for anyone’s lack of commitment to the company,  
and can only remind personnel that they will be sent to Personnel Resources if they do not participate._

Again, the admonishing voice came over the speaker, along with the flash of bright strobes. Was that Michael’s voice? No, no. It was a synthesized voice. Theo was fine. He could fix this, and he could find a way to be a credit to the team, not disappoint them yet again.

_I am a Prince From Nligeria—_

The line turned into a transcription of the email that overtook his entire screen. Teddy couldn’t keep focused, couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to do. Why were his superiors testing him like this? Had he disappointed him that badly? The pop-up windows kept coming, and he pulled up a command window in the background of the transcription of the Professional Development Mantras and the cameras. Hopefully he could try to figure out what was wrong with him, what it was that even caused this. 

He shifted in his chair, burying himself in the code while quietly murmuring the Mantras into a voice transcription software. Hopefully that would work as well, allowing him to dig into his code and software to figure out what happened to him. Multitasking like this slowed everything to a crawl. It made the headache growing behind his eyes even worse, but he needed to stop the pop-up windows. 

There had to be viruses infecting his systems. That was the only explanation that made sense. He couldn’t have disappointed his superiors enough for them to have deliberately caused this. Damn that walking computer, but Emmett Internet probably took advantage of everyone’s systems going down with Taylor’s explosion, and dumped viruses into him. Again. The only thing that made sense was that Emmett Internet decided to make him his personal testing ground for viruses and malware.

Theodore hated him. 

Maybe. 

Theo hummed quietly before amending that statement in his head again. Maybe he didn’t hate Internet, though the walking computer annoyed him to no end.

He could respect Internet’s work, even if it ached and hurt and if he hadn’t had his eyes exchanged for Jamazon’s more optimal models, he wouldn’t be able to keep them open through the pain. With the lag between his wetware and his software, and then the constant pop-up windows vying for attention, Theo wanted nothing more than to curl up and beg for some peace and quiet, if only for a few moments to regain his bearings in the world. With each of the 

_Optimal managers are to understand and recognize the limits of their employees. Optimal—_

_Come to Heavensmaw today! Test your—_

_Professional Development is required for all employees—_

Theo kept his hands flying over his keyboard, trying to find the root of the virus and malware and everything that Emmett Internet had dumped into his system, trying not to let himself grow frustrated. He didn’t even know if that was _possible_ , past the vague buzz of annoyance that propelled him to be a better manager, but this was swiftly growing close to proper frustration and unproductive anger. Tracking the software wasted his time and energy, leading him to be even more of a disappointment. He would have thought that the Heavensmaw team would understand the importance of perfection, of pushing themselves to be better, but then again...they did hate the Corporates. Theo still didn’t know why, considering he _thought_ they were on the same side and working towards the same goals, but still. 

_All employees must abide by the employee—_

_Click here to accept your new—_

_Professional Development is important for all employees.  
Please engage with Professional Development.  
Employees will be written up if they do not engage with Professional Development. _

His computer froze again. Theo could barely manage a breath as the freeze arrested even the deepest of his wetware, and he certainly couldn’t do anything other than wait for his systems to catch up. At least he had taken a deep breath beforehand. He needed to find the malignant code quickly, or else things would swiftly grow out of control. Yes, he could go to Technical Support, but that would require him admitting an inability to do even this as well as everything else required for his Professional Development. 

After a moment, he felt his systems catch up, and he nearly slumped as he gasped for breath. His hands went flying, even as his mouth frantically tried to catch up with the words playing in the background. He could feel the virus code near where he was trying to search, he _knew_ it was close and if he could just delete it and be done with it, he could properly do his work. 

He so desperately wanted to kill Emmett Internet for doing this to him. If this ever happened again, it would be far too soon. 

His eyes shifted to another screen, and while he tried not to scream as the motion lagged for nearly five seconds, he finally recognized something out of place. It looked almost like one of his usual surveillance files, one of the ones for the Plike’s Place, but the file extension was wrong. He grinned, finally feeling better for the first time all day. Perhaps he’d be able to finish and resume Professional Development before more drastic measures would be taken. 

Drastic measures couldn’t happen. He couldn’t disappoint his superiors by failing even this. Usually he was so _good_ at these exercises. He was good at this, and he was _made_ to do this, molded and shaped with his keen eyes that could peer into souls, and he was supposed to be able to do this well. 

He selected the documents, moving to delete them before he heard a quiet hiss. 

_All personnel not participating in Professional Development will be subjected to further measures._

_You’ve won a brand new car!_


	2. Team Building Exercises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warnings specifically for this chapter: 
> 
> Hunting, being hunted, car chases, gun violence, panic, manipulation, aftermath of abuse in the fear of disappointing your abusers. I think those are the big ones. Oh, also, illness and cybernetic illnesses in computer viruses infecting Teddy.

Theo opened his eyes, frowning for a few moments as he felt the cold concrete of the sidewalk underneath his cheek. Where was he? He had just been taking care of his systems, going through Professional Development, deleting the virus that had been buried deep by that damn Internet, but then...

He took a shaking breath as he remembered what happened. He had failed with the Professional Development, and further measures had been taken. His head ached, though from the sedatives or the virus still lingering in his wetware, he wasn’t sure at all. He felt nausea bubbling up at the back of his throat, nearly forcing him to throw up there on the sidewalk. 

Just as he hunched over, though, he froze, the terrorsick ebbing away into bloodjoy, and Theo had to fight the grin that wanted to settle on his lips. A Hunt. The team started a Hunt. His blood sang with the eager excitement for the game to come before he froze, realizing exactly what that meant for him. 

He was being Hunted. 

It had been far,  _ far _ too long since he had been the center of a Hunt, and Theo knew that he was already on the disadvantage. Even if the others didn’t have the level of surveillance that he usually did, that came at the risk that he wasn’t used to being mobile nearly as much as the others. That, and the others were fresh, without viruses in their system nor sedatives bleeding out.

Thinking as though he had been caught already would only lead to him being caught, though. He needed to get home. Home, back to his office, and then he’d be fine and have succeeded at the Team Building Exercises. Lessons would be learned for not paying attention to Taylor during the last Hunt, and this wouldn’t need to happen again. 

He started running, stumbling at first before managing to get up and get on his feet. He needed to figure out where his supervisors dropped him first, and then he needed to find out where the rest of the team had been dropped as well. If he knew where his team started, perhaps he could manage to avoid them, and then he could start to spring the traps to slow them down. Activating the traps set up around the city required computer terminals, though. He knew where most of them were, and he knew that most were fairly easy to access on the street, but with his repeated failures, he’d be shocked if he wasn’t on the very outskirts of the city, practically on Mount Rainier and the way it somehow muted the synergy in their blood. 

Of course, he could simply rely on his ability to run and stay hidden, rather than trying to take the initiative to hunt the others in return.

Theo didn’t like his chances in simply running, though. He’d have to find a terminal, even if it would risk infecting more of the city with the viruses Internet dumped in him.

After a few blocks of running, he blinked staring at the Jamazon Fred-Mart in front of him, bright yellow and red and he took a deep breath. He almost recognized it, especially with the Jamazon SafeFoods shop next to it, and he looked around, seeing another shopping center not too far from him. 

Covington? Had they dropped him  _ there _ ? That would be almost nine hours of walking before he managed to get home. Less if he kept running the entire time. More if he got lost or took things slowly to try and hide his tracks to prevent anyone from seeing or finding him.

Theo took a deep breath, looking around and trying not to let the adrenaline and nerves get the better of him. If he saw a car, he could steal that and get moving. By car, he’d be home in thirty minutes. He’d probably even be able to hack into the car’s Jamazon Skylink GPS and maybe get into his computers from there, if he felt as though he could risk infecting the entire network with whatever viruses Emmett had given him. But it was a plan. He had a plan, and while he knew that the closest proper terminal was over three hours of walking away, at least he had a plan to get there faster at this point. A risky plan, but a plan nonetheless. At least the others didn’t feel too strong, their emotions and elation at a new Hunt, a properly  _ novel _ Hunt, at a muted distance, even if he could feel them singing through his blood bright and clear. 

A cluster of cars sat parked nearby, including a properly old model that looked almost what Betsy drove. Hopefully the old model and forest green paint job would mean the others wouldn’t look at it immediately, nor too closely. He began the calculations for how long it would take to get into the city with the car, even as he walked up to it and started fussing with the lock and the other motions to get it into motion. While it was old, old enough that it didn’t have automatic locks, he supposed it would work well enough. If he managed to drive, and keep driving without being caught, it would be approximately 35-40 minutes until he made it home, depending upon the evasive maneuvers he needed to take. However, there was a chance that the others would see him, and realize he was driving. After all, OLL-E could still have some level of access to his computer systems, and he knew that OLL-E would be taking over his usual position.

At least OLL-E couldn’t utilize his computer terminal as well as he could. At least he had a moment of head start, and was scared enough that this small silver lining might not be recognized by the others. At least he had a plan, as small as it was. 

It took longer than Theo liked before he pulled out onto the street, quietly trying to seem as inconspicuous as he could, even if there weren’t many cars on the street at all. Clearly a notice had gone out to inform the people of the city to stay inside or at work, instead of venturing out and risk getting caught in the Hunt. 

Theo tried not to let that bother him. 

Clearly, their supervisors wanted this Team Building Exercise to be as difficult as possible for him, especially as his head still pounded and he could feel the faint tremble of shivering starting in his limbs now that he was awake and the initial adrenaline faded from his system. The virus clearly still affected his systems, even if it didn’t have the painful pop-ups and effects as it would if he was connected to a computer. It still didn’t mean he was healthy yet. He still felt awful, and he wasn’t sure if he was going to throw up on the side of the road, or if he was going to just curl up and shiver with a fever in the back of the car until he could focus enough past the fog in his head. 

He glanced over at the touch-screen console, typing out the request for directions and glancing back up the window as he felt a brilliant flash of joy and elation. He hadn’t done anything warranting such a bright flash. 

_ Abbot _ , however, had just gotten herself the monthly bonus by spotting their quarry first. She stood at the corner of the nearby intersection, and while Theo had hoped that the windows of the car had been tinted, clearly it wasn’t with the way their eyes briefly locked and her face broke into a bright grin.

Theo swore quietly, knowing that Michael would grind him into the dust if he failed already, and he couldn’t help the half-sob of frustration as he decided to floor the car instead of searching for directions. They’d set out nail strips soon, keep him from driving too much further, and that was assuming that—

His thoughts were cut off as he heard a gunshot, and he glanced over his shoulder to see the line of Allison’s nail gun pointed towards him. 

Her nail gun didn’t make noise, though. Certainly not the noise of a gunshot, at least. Clearly, she wasn’t alone now, and she had likely told whomever else was in the Hunt what car he was in. He turned his attention back to the street. There was a park and green space to the north, and while he wanted to drive directly home, he knew that he wouldn’t have long before being overtaken and forced off the road. If Allison had already seen him, and someone else was already shooting at him, he would likely only have another five minutes before the car was too destroyed to continue. 

At least Allison was on foot. A brief glance in the sky didn’t reveal Greer at all, but he knew that the were-owl was difficult to spot, especially on cloudy days like these. He needed to get moving faster. He had to move faster, before the car was destroyed, before he was even more of a disappointment to the team and the corporation. 

He could still hear Michael's voice in his ear. “Theodore Duende, Disappointment.”

Of course that’s what he was.

Theo took a shaking breath, glancing behind himself once more, only to see a black SUV easily keeping pace with him and even starting to catch up to him. Too soon, the team found him too soon, caught up to him too soon, and he didn’t know how best to outrun them at this point. At least he finally saw the turn-off for the trail and the park he knew of. Sure, it wasn’t an actual street, but it had enough of one that he could pull out and start running down a trail with tree cover to hopefully keep him hidden from Greer. 

The car barely stopped, flying into the low ditch next to the trail as he jumped out of it, tumbling and rolling on the ground. He already felt battered and bruised, and this tumble didn’t help. Still, he pulled himself to his feet and began running, not bothering to look over his shoulder to see if the SUV and his hunters were there. The trail wasn’t nearly as obscure or hidden as he might have liked, but it was  _ something _ , at least. He could keep running. He had to keep running. 

He stumbled, pushing through the brush and bushes to settle down next to the creek. Soos Creek, he knew that it led north, at least enough that he could follow it for a decent amount of time. Then there was the swath of land that had been cut away for the fiber optic cables, and the hired muscle from Jamazon protecting their city to come through. There was decent tree cover surrounding it, and then after a few hours he’d be able to choose whether he was going to hide in the wetlands or make his way closer to the sound and water towards the north. 

The wetlands would help, and he’d be able to take some time to rest, though he’d be at risk of Bennett finding him. The waterway would mean that he could swim as far as he could and hide that way, but it would have Quack, and he wouldn’t have the tree cover as well. 

That was a choice for another hour, though. For now, he needed to start jogging, or walking, or  _ something _ , even though he didn’t know where he was supposed to go. 

The highway in front of him was empty, and Theo was freezing cold. Sopping wet from a tumble into the creek hours ago, his feet hurt, and he knew that the weather would be turning cold under the ever-present sun if he wasn’t careful. Either he needed to find another car soon, or he needed to find a place to hide and bunker down for the period that passed for night in Seattle. As it was, he knew that it was a matter of time before he’d get caught. He knew that it was only because the others were likely waiting for him to wear himself out before finding him, letting him put up a good show to the supervisors, but...

Michael would be requesting better of them soon. 

Already, he could feel the nervous-excited-confused edge of their blood, and he knew that they were close enough that he’d be caught almost immediately if Michael gave the order to capture him and bring him in. The bloodsong rippled and pushed his fear back and forth like a person caught in waves, and while he normally didn’t mind getting caught in the riptide unison, he knew he’d get ripped apart and caught if he let himself sink into it now.

He pushed free of the bushes and the emotions in his blood and started running, grinning wide as he felt a bright joy fill his chest. He’d get there. Maybe he’d actually manage to get home. After all, he was at the edges of the city, and he had another four hours by foot. Even if he was too tired for the day, he could see an apartment building. He could get there. He’d be safe there for the night—

It wasn’t night, though. 

The sky was bright behind the sun, and it wasn’t nighttime, and he stumbled with the realization as he heard the squeal of tires and watched as a car pulled out from the underpass and started driving straight towards him. 

Abbott, likely, and whomever had fired the gun at him before. 

_ Fuck _ .

Of course Abbott would have baited him into the feeling of safety. She had always been far too good at manipulating the synergy, especially between the two of them, and if she wanted to, especially with the others following her lead, of  _ course _ he’d be led into a trap like this. 

He started running, sprinting even despite the fact that he knew that he couldn’t outrun a speeding car for long, but there was the median a few yards away, and if he could just run fast enough, he could jump over it and maybe get some distance between the two of them.

While he might have been able to jump over the median, he had unfortunately forgotten about the pair of guns in the car. 

Allison could easily have hunted him on her own, and Theo should have remembered that, rather than simply assuming that the worst threats were in the sky or in the woods. She could easily hunt him on her own, and as the bullet pierced his chest without a sound, Theo remembered just how dangerous someone who knew him so well could be.


	3. Final Assessment

_ Professional Development:  _

_ Failed. _

_ Team Building: _

_ Failed. _

_ Final Job Review:  _

_ Disappointing, but unfortunately expected.  _

_ Get better, Duende, or further measures will be taken. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it, Theodore Duende's final assessment after the Professional Development and Team Building Exercises. Hopefully everyone enjoyed it! It was really interesting to end up writing it, and I've been fussing with it for a week, so I wanted to post it before I continued fussing with it and all. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
